I’ve only loved two men in my life, that weren’t family. Don and Jopi. Don was my first serious boyfriend. He was a bestfriend at first, then we just gradually started dating on and off, over a course of 3 years or so. It was pretty awesome. It was an innocent kind of love, walking to each others houses and hanging out with our mutual friends all the time.

To me, when you’re genuinely in love with someone, their is no past tense. If someone says “Oh, I loved them”. I call bullshit, and say that they never did. You see what I’ve learned, is that when you truly love someone, you always will. No matter the absence of their presence, or how much they’ve hurt you. No matter what, I’ll always love Don. Even when we haven’t seen each other or talked to each other since Highschool because he chooses not to for some reason. And it hurts, but it doesn’t change what he use to be to me. Throwing away a friendship because of someone else, isn’t worth it. 

The love with I have with Jopi. This is different. This is something so real. I’ve never felt more confident when I look at someone. He’s my fucking rock. We’re bestfriends. As cliche as it sounds, he’s perfect really. We hung out everyday for 18 months. And we finally said “I love you”. And you don’t see a lot of people caring about how and when they say “I love you” anymore. It’s like getting butterflies every time you see each other no matter how many times you have. You can tell by the way he kisses my forehead, or gives me a noogie that he cares about me more than I’ll probably ever know.  And I get sooooo happy when we talk about our future together. We trust each other. We have our own individual lives. The thought of him leaving or getting stationed somewhere far makes me really sad, but he just keeps reassuring me that it’ll benefit us. So he’s basically my motivation to do better in school. He’s my motivation to be a better person really. He keeps my fairytale a reality.